Thoughts for the evening

I'm pretty happy that I just updated the whole look of the blog. It was time. I wanted to address really quickly some elements that a horror film do make.
First there is the gore factor. This is often what draws the line between thrillers and horrors. Example: I had a friend that hates horror films ask if she could tag along if the Horror Whores went to see 'Wolfman'. If it's not bloody enough to scare off the usual crowd then it's just a thriller and should be skipped and scoffed at. Then you should point and laugh like you are cool because you enjoy seeing someone eviscerated.
Second there is a nudity factor. I can't tell you why but if there isn't a boob shot it probably isn't a horror movie. Is this a step back for feminism? Probably, but it's the law of the land. There are exceptions like one of my favorites 'The Decent' but they are few and far between.
Third the rating factor. If the film isn't rated 'R' then it's not really a horror. It may be scary and good but it's probably not really a horror film. Note: this doesn't mean it's not scary, take 'Paranormal Activity' for example.
Last (for now) is the ending. Horror films shouldn't end exactly happy. You can't put all of the body parts in a box and put a pretty little bow on it and try to sell that as an ending. People are dead, families pulled apart, teeth missing and probably some nasty infections...that's how horrors end.
A final thought...although I am a huge lover of all things horror I seriously struggle with scenes of rape. To me seeing arms hacked off or lips sewn to butts is so ridiculous that it's fun. But those graphic rape scenes (ie. 'The Hills Have Eyes II) are just not necessary.
Um, that's it for my late night rambling.

Human Centipede

Ok people, let's do this. Let's really get into a movie where you aren't sure whether to laugh, throw up, or simply marvel at human creativity. So let's just do this and be proud that we have seen something new in the world of horror.
It doesn't take much to guess from the name and the lovely poster we have here to get that the premise of this one is the whole crazy scientist guy. "Nothing new there Miss Whore." That's right, it's a common theme. Also the crazy scientist preys on American tourists that can't get cell phone reception out in the woods. "Still sounds pretty run of the mill Miss Whore." Yep, and he even drugs them and they wake up tied to creepy hospital beds in his basement. "Sounds like I've seen this one before." Then he explains that he's going to sew the victims together. "Duh, that's why I'm watching Human Centipede." He attaches them mouth to anus by pulling out their teeth, attaching the lips to the anus and sewing the butt skin onto the face. "Right he sews them togeth....wait wait what?" Yep, you heard me right. I know, you're trying to decide right now if that's the funniest effing thing you've ever heard or just disturbing. Trust me, when the first one finally has to go, um, #2 it's not pleasant. The three victims have to coordinate movement to get anywhere obviously. Fitting into a snug elevator is out of the question. Going through a rotating door, don't even think about it. I don't want to give away the end but suffice it to say that you are left thinking 'huh, I have never appreciated not having someone sewn to my butt until this moment.'
So, for the ratings...There is some gore obviously but not a ton. I've seen more when watching 'Life in the ER' on TLC. There are a couple shots of topless girls, but you have to get by the whole face sewn to someone's butt to notice. When I started it I was scoffing at the acting and by the end I didn't notice because everyone's face was sewn to a butt. The cinematography was forced but I stopped noticing that once I saw faces sewn to butts. I am at a loss to rate this one...um how about 'B' for butt! That works for me.

Nightmare on Elm Street 2010

I went into this one with pretty low expectations. How can you possibly hope to recreate a classic? I know, I know...Rob Zombie pulled it off with Halloween but this is different. I don't know if it was my low expectations or if the film is just pretty good, but I wasn't dissapointed. First of all, it didn't try to totally remake and update every concept like so many remakes do. The inverse is that it wasn't the same movie minus the mullets but plus cell phones. I believe it did Freddy justice. They made him much more burn victim looking and a little creepier. He still donned his striped sweater and was able to make an enormous amount of sparks by scraping his blades along pipes...classic. There are a few scenes that take you back to the original and I appreciate that.
So let's get down to it. It's decently gorey. There's definitely a good amount of blood and general slicing. Heck, at one point she's swimming in blood. There are not really any guts or innards if you're into that. The scripting...not complex but why would it be? The cinematography...nothing to get excited about. But again, it doesn't have to be. That's always just a wonderful added bonus. All in all I think this one gets an A-. It's fun, it's bloody and it's always Freddy.

A Perfect Getaway

Last night I had some time to myself so I curled up with my knitting, my bichon frise and a scary movie. There aren't a lot of options On Demand right now so I thought I would try this one out. Turns out it wasn't really a horror but more of a suspense/thriller. Still, I thought it merited a quick review.
It's tough for me to go into much detail without spoiling the film and honestly that would ruin the whole thing. The setting is beautiful (Hawaii). The actors are pretty good. The surprise ending is fun. The blood and guts factor is very low. The end.

Daybreakers

Written and directed by the Australian Spierig Brothers, Daybreakers is a vampire movie set in not so distant 2019. The movie does a great job at setting up a world that has been completely dominated by vampires. These are live in a cave, hang upside-down, wear a cape type of vampires. These are go to work, gotta make a living type of vampires. They drink blood coffee, go to blood bars and have a nice stiff blood drink in a chinky glass with ice at the end of the day. The problem...they are running out of humans to harvest the blood from. As the vampires begin to starve they transform into the crack head version of a vampire.

I need to pause here for a moment. Typically I have to struggle to get a paragraph of plot in a horror film. It tends to be this guy had a bad childhood, he's mad, he kills people, the end. Daybreakers actually has a relatively intricate plot that involves a portion of your brain to work. To explain the entire plot would be lengthy, which is surprisingly refreshing, but not totally necessary.

So, Edward (Ethan Hawke) doesn't like being a vampire and wants to find a cure. He, along with the amazing Willem Dafoe, comes up with one. The bad vampire doesn't want the cure because he's found a way to profit. Edward's brother helps. Blah Blah Blah and it ends.

My thoughts: This was a good horror flick. It had lots of blood, some guts and quite a few limbs that flung free from their bodies. People/bat things were burned up heads were ripped off and a nurse gets thrown up on. Seriously, what else do you need? There was a beautiful scene shot in slow motion at the end of soldiers ripping each other to pieces...literally. If you look closely you can see a torso fly into the air and then a couple of arms...it was beautifully disgusting. Also, the vampires explode like a bugs bunny cartoon when they are staked in the heart. That rocks!

All in all I would happily give this film an B+ as far as horror films go. Fun for the whole family...well, maybe not the whole family :)

Saw VI

So here we have yet another installation of the Saw series. You almost have to review the movie independently as well as part of a whole. So here goes the independent review...This time Jigsaw is taking a little bit of a political stab at some current events. The first scene involves two loan managers that are handing out loans to folks they know can't afford to pay them back. The rest of the movie deals with the department of health insurance companies that look for faults in order to deny coverage. You find that you don't mind so much when some of the characters end up upside down and inside out. The film is EXTREMELY gory and I may have actually winced once or twice and that's impressive. There are a lot of dead folks in this one and it appropriately takes it up a notch from the last movie. I am always impressed at the new, creative and of course graphic way they come up with to kill someone. As a film on it's own I'm afraid the average viewer would really have a hard time knowing what's going on without having seen all of the movies. The Saw movies are becoming so intertwined that they are even confusing to a seasoned viewer. I fear that although they are creative in intention they are actually becoming more involved than they need to be. If you've followed the movies at all you know we are actually on our 3rd or 4th killer by now. So overall I would only reccomend this film if you are intimately familiar with the previous 5.
Now, as a part of a whole...It's ok. The first Saw rocked because you were like "what the hell just happened?" Now it's more of "who is that, what did he do in the last one, is that the lady from the first one, are we in yet another flashback?" Overall this movie gets just a D.

Paranormal Activity

This was soooooo much fun! This movie makes you tired from how tense you are throughout the hour and a half. The acting is very natural and real. The actors look like normal people and not playboy models. The setting and relationship are all very real. So that's a great start. The plot is nice and simple but not stupid which allows you to concentrate on how scared you are or will be. Now I'll admit, it didn't scare me very much, but the company I shared didn't even want to walk to their cars alone after the movie ended. My husband left in the fight or flight mode and is just now cooling down. I love that they leave the demon up to your imagination (it's always scarier that way). I've heard the film was made for just $11,000 but they made that money work! I give this movie a solid "A". It's a must see.