American Horror Story....yes, I know it's a TV show

American Horror Story is a show on FX that started at the beginning of this month. The previews leading up to it were freaking amazing and thus I watched the show. They hyped it up so much that I had pretty big expectations. The great thing is that I feel like my expectations were met with great success. It airs pretty late at night so they get away with a little nudity, a little sex and a lot of creepiness. These, as you know, are important horror qualities.

The premise of the show is a family trying to repair itself moves to a new state, new house, new environment. You find out that over the years there have been countless murders, suicides and bloody incidents in the home thus leaving it crowded with made juju.

I really enjoy the actors in this one. They don’t have the typical ditsy, screaming blond but at the same time the mom has her weakness. It breaks a lot of social rules and skirts the boundaries of icky.

All in all I really like this show. It is honestly like sitting through a mini horror movie each week. Honestly it’s better than a lot of the movies we’ve been to…I give an A

Don't be Afraid of the Dark

I have been really anticipating the arrival of this film due to the involvement of Guillermo Del Toro. His ability to mix nightmarish creatures with childhood fantasy is really interesting. So I literally spent weeks trying to coordinate the Whores to see this movie. Finally today we ascended the Cinemark steps and sat in our sticky, squeaky chairs to partake in some fright.

The film is about a little girl who goes to live with her father that lives in an old historic house. In case you don’t watch enough scary movies, this is always a bad start. If it’s an old house with a ‘history’ don’t move in unless you enjoy rooms filled with flies and walls that bleed (see Amityville Horror for reference). Needless to say things don’t go well. The little girl finds herself talking to ghoulish creatures that progressively become more aggressive and downright mean. They cut up clothing, stab the help and cause overall havoc. They have one fear…bright light. They remind me a little bit of the evil Gremlins without the catchy one liners.

After an obligatory library scene where the heroine discovers the history of the home the creatures (which turn out to be fairies) turn it up a notch and try to kill everyone in the house. Without giving away the whole thing I will say that at least the film didn’t wrap up with a nice little bow at the end.

So the review….I’m sorry to say it was pretty bad. Katie Holms does a pretty good job as does Guy Pearce, but the little girl bugged me. She had weird teeth. The acting and script were done well enough that I watched the whole movie without really realizing how dumb it was until the end. I don’t know exactly what I didn’t like, it just felt hokey. It was filmed well, edited well, had good sound, etc. but in the end was disappointing. I’m going to have to give the film a flimsy thumb down and grade it with a D-

Yeh, I'm back! So few films have come out that there was little to do but sit back and knit socks. No literally, I sat and knit socks. They're lovely.
Insidious seemed to me to be a modern take on Poltergeist. It's got the whole haunted child thing going on with a modern twist. First of all I appreciate the Hitchcockesque take on dramatic music. It was very reminiscent of Vertigo music. Secondly, I appreciated a nice combination of humor and creepiness.
The story surrounds a family with a haunted boy that is in a coma. The creepy things happen and the family calls in a lady that isn't quite as cool as Tangina. You're wondering who that is aren't you. She's the cool "come towards the light" lady.
The ghost hunter guys add the humor that keeps you pulled in towards the end and I appreciated it.
I won't lie to you, the end is weird. That's all I can say about that.
All in all I enjoyed the movie. I felt my skin crawl a lot and it was well done. I would give this film a B+.

The Descent Part 2

OMG!!! How freaking exciting is this?! I was a huge fan of the first Descent so when I was wandering around on my streaming Netflix (which is also freaking cool) and I saw a part two I nearly peed my pants. I was hesitant because squeals are often done by the 2nd assistant crew with C grade actors but I gave it a shot.
If you haven't seen the first one I recommend it. My hubby has renamed it "Chicks with Picks." Essentially a group of gal pals head to the mountains for some good ol' fashioned cave diving. As a closeted claustrophobic the beginning of the movie was the scariest. However creepy cave people/things was the true plot and plenty of blood and excitement later it turned out to be one of my favorite horror films. The Descent part 2 picks up right were #1 left off. They use the same characters and follow along the plot nicely. There are some exciting twists that would give it away if I went into it. What I appreciated about it was that the movie truly was a 'part 2' rather than just a '2'. It wasn't retelling a new story but finishing the first story. That's a rare thing these days. I can't say this one was as good as the first, but I can confidently say it was a great follow up and totally worth watching if you enjoyed the first. The gore level is fantastic, there's blood, guts and even some poop. Scripting, well you're in a cave, what would you really have to say? Cinematography...pretty good. I would take points away for how fakey the rocks looked this time. Lastly, this one left of with a big 'huh'? That says to be me we can expect a Part 3!!! Overall I give it a B.

Saw News

So, I know that the final Saw came out on the 29th and you can count on me seeing it this week. In honor of it, I have watched Saw 1 thru 5 this week and will watch 6 before I watch 7 so I can give you a review of the series as a whole. How exciting!

My Soul to Take

I love Wes Craven. I don't necessarily love every movie he's done, but I really respect what he has done in the horror genre. On a side note, when I worked in Hollywood his office was below where I worked. I was fortunate enough to share the elevator with him several times. And no, I never talked to him. But thanks for rubbing salt into the wound that is my shyness.
My Soul to Take is about the supposed 'energy' of a mad man being transferred into any of the children born in this town the night the mad man dies. So these 8 kids get together every year on their birthday to gather at the spot the guy died and try to scare the pee out of each other. On their 16th birthday celebration it works (not the pee part) and they are all creeped out the whole day. As it turns out it's with good reason as they each start being chased down and killed. Ultimately I really can't share much more as it would give it away and that's no fun and truly not really that important.
Here is a lesson I learned. If a high school football player is pressuring you into oral sex on your walk home from school. Don't agree to it and tell him to follow you into the woods in ten seconds so that you can actually begin running for your life from him. A) this angers the hormone driven teenager B) this alerts the nearest killer that you are scared, running and alone in the woods. Killers can't resist that.
This movie had tons-o-blood which I raise my glass to. There was a scene that just showed the girls dangling shoes (yes...she was the runner addressed above) with blood pouring down onto them like a hose that needs one more twist. It lasted probably 2 minutes...impressive.
The characters in the movie where pretty cool. The main guy and his best friend had great dialogue and I liked the way each one panned out at the end. This is where Craven's talent really shows.
All in all this film gets a B. It wasn't super scary but it did have lots of gore and good dialogue.

Devil

I'm sure you've heard mixed things about this film. For some it was a gross waste of time, for others it was terrifying and for those like me it was just ok. M. Night Shyamalan seems to be like coconut...you either like it or you don't. I'm impressed that he has created enough of a name for himself that people can distinguish his movies. That says something in the cluster of films that are out there with directors whose names your don't know.
So, plot...hmmmm. It's different than the typical slasher/horror film. He gets a point for that. However he uses the whole "I bet you can't guess who's doing it" to the extreme. Literally you have 5 people in an elevator and every time the lights go out some one dies. So really how much of a who done it is it?
The gore factor was pretty good in this one. There is enough blood and it is creepy that there is a stack of bodies on the elevator floor.
Outside of the elevator the police, FBI and maybe even the circus are trying to get these people out so if you're thinking that you don't want to sit and watch the inside of an elevator for an hour your safe.
Finally, I don't really love the weird religious tones that Shyamalan puts at the end of some of his movies and this was no exception. It's just weird. You've sat and watched people get slashed and strangled and then he wants me to switch gears and think about forgiveness. It just didn't work for me. So having said all of that...I think the final rating for this movie is a C.